Tuesday, 29 January 2008

'I Will Cure You'

My dad came across an article in a newspaper about a man who was curing phobias. I had a look and i admit the stories were very impressive. Each person had a different phobia and after only one or two sessions with the man in the article they had been totally cured.
We decided that i would get in touch with him. Thankfully he was based nearby so i called him up and arranged an appointment. So the day arrived and so did James (i'll change his name for this). He arrived in his top sports car and expensive outfit and you could tell he meant business.
We sat and talked about my issues and he informed me that he has worked with agoraphobics before. He insitsted that he has cured everyone he had ever worked with by using something called neuro-linguistic programming, otherwise known as NLP. He told me stories of people who had been scared of heights, he soon had them jumping out of helecopters. Then he told me about the agoraphobics who he had calling him from the other side of the world thanking him profusly. So i was excited. I believed in him. The cost for his services was more than i had but we figured it would be worth it as he assured me that after a couple of sessions i would be back to my old self.
Session one, we done some NLP together. This was mostly him talking to me, making me imagine things, change the images in my head. He explained how my mind worked and he helped me realise things which had gone unnoticed before. I was impressed. Session one passed and i was still the same. I didn't see any changes what so ever but i figured it was early days.
Session two we went out in his car. We drove within my comfort zone and although i had a few anxious moments it basically went ok. He also taught me another technique called TFT. This was basically tapping on different pressure points in the body. He also bought me the book about it 'Tapping The Healer Within' and i started to study that. So in the car i done some tapping, and like i said, it went ok. But that was session 2 over and i still wasn't cured.
By this time i had developed a new problem. I was still getting out and about within my comfort zone but i had started relying on doing it all by bike. In my head i felt it was better by bike because if i panicked i would be able to get home much quicker. That was fine at first but soon i was relying on the bike so much that couldn't go to the shops without it.
The next few sessions i had booked were cancelled as James couldn't make it. It was over a month before i seen him again. Then when i did see him we had another session driving around in circles. Session over... still not cured.
Again the next few sessions were cancelled. I was losing faith in James by now.
When James came back i told him i felt i needed to try walking to the shops again without my bike. So we set off. I talked the whole way there so that my mind was kept busy. I went into the shop, bought a magazine and walked home.
The next time i spoke to James was via email. I asked when our next appointment would be and he basically said that he would now support me by text or email. I was confused...how would that help me? He said that when i walked to the shops i proved that i could do it. That he had basically done his job. I was so angry. I wrote back and asked how he could say that he had done his job. We walked to the shops once but everything was in my comfort zone. We had NEVER tried going any further. I told him if he tried to make me go to the next town i would never be able to manage it, i would be terrified. So... i wasnt cured and i never heard from James again. A waste of a lot of money and another let down to leave me feeling frustrated, hopeless and alone.


Robert said...

Ok - I've read the whole blog. I've subscribed to your blog and given it a link from mine also.

Looking forward to more posts! Give us more photos - we don't get enough pretty girls in blog-land!

ReposeBeauty said...

Hi found your blog from the NMP site, i feel like I could have written it myself! hope you're well

IHateBadService said...

Hi Lynn,
If what you're saying is true, then you have nothing to fear from naming him. I know who you're referring to and he positively courts publicity, is never out of the papers, does high-visibility publicity stunts like abseiling down buildings with people he's 'cured' etc....so why shouldn't he cop bad publicity when he f***s up? He does claim to have a 100% record of curing phobics and people need to know that simply isn't true before they part with a lot of money for nothing.

IHateBadService said...

I wanted to add that his behaviour with you was extremely unprofessional and not just a little slimy. It sounds to me like he THINKS he can cure everyone, but when he finds he cannot, he just disappears, like any conman AND he put the blame for his failure on you! He was the one who said he could cure you, he is the one who needs to come up with the goods, not you. All you brought to this contract was your INability do do something.

HOWEVER, I also wanted to tell you that, as an agoraphobe, I have great faith in NLP as a possible way forward. You're right to find it is impressive, so don't let this idiot put you off finding out more about it. I have "Nlp: the New Technology of Achievement" and it has exercises in it and there are others that will allow you to actually DO the "tricks", as practising with them is the secret. Remember the good feelings you had from some of the things he did in the first session? You can do that yourself, much more cheaply and more pleasantly, without him!

Here an article in which a *cough* NLP therapist blames all his failures on his paying customers:

Lynn said...

I have actually written to a newspaper abour this guy. It seems i am not alone and he has done this to so many people... charging them for the process.

Also the celebrity name dropping he does. Its funny actually, but isnt therapy supposed to be confidential haha, He doesnt seem to think so.

I will name him when i know exactly what i plan to do, i.e talk to papers etc.

Lynn said...

I should add though that if anyone wants to know who he is... or thinks they may be using this therpist then they can e mail me and i will name him privately.

Just not ready to put it on the blog for the whole world to see incase it somehow gets to him, i know he will threaten to take me to court over this.