Ebooks

http://www.ebay.com/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250992672599

Ive come across a few ebooks that may contain some information that you would find useful. So far they are on auction but the price is really low, if your looking for something to read :)

Agoraphobia Help Network

I like this guys thinking.

Finding a Purpose Greater than Your Fear


"I wish my life could go back to the way it was before I started having panic attacks. "I hear this statement more often than I'd like. Too many people who are trying to recover from agoraphobia make not having a panic attack their main goal. Sadly, this focus will not help you get free from agoraphobia. As a recovered agoraphobic, I completely understand why people fear panic attacks and don't want to have them. However, the fear of panic attacks is not sufficient motivation for recovery. It is just motivation for avoiding places and situations that trigger panic – and avoidance behavior, ironically, is a symptom of agoraphobia. I want to encourage you to do more than just stop the fear.

Even if you did everything in this book to successfully counter panic attacks, you would not find true freedom. You would meet your goal of returning to life before agoraphobia, but think hard for a minute, is that the life you really want?If you are like most of us, you were living a compromised lifestyle before you developed agoraphobia. Although we may not have experienced full blown panic attacks or been confined to our homes, many of us willingly confined our lives to some degree in order to feel safe. Though we might have functioned in our roles at home, work, or school, we were probably not living our lives to the fullest or maximizing our potential as human beings. We were limiting ourselves at some level, avoiding changes or challenges that we thought might cause fear.Your life after agoraphobia doesn't have to be the same as it was before. It can be better. As one who has been through agoraphobia and come out on the other side, I cannot emphasize this point enough. If you develop agoraphobia you are likely to possess vast potential. You are likely to be highly intelligent, creative, imaginative, sensitive, and analytical. You probably have a powerful imagination, high ideals, and the drive to achieve them. However, these qualities cannot find expression when you live a safe or tightly controlled life in an effort to keep a lid on your fears. Your recovery from agoraphobia is a golden opportunity to quit playing it safe.

It represents your opportunity to break free and achieve your fullest potential. But focusing on not having a panic attack won't get you there. It will just keep you worried about how to stop the next panic attack. You need a more powerful motivation for recovery and for living your life.Overcoming agoraphobia takes consistent hard work. It takes persistence in the face of discouragement. It takes believing that success if possible, even when you see no reason to believe. Overcoming agoraphobia demands courage, and courage demands a reason.You can achieve true freedom from agoraphobia and in life when you find a strong reason for it - a purpose that makes fear seem irrelevant. You can achieve true freedom when you develop a burning desire to do something that moves your focus away from the inward world of containing panic symptoms to doing something to make a difference in the world around you. As long as you are motivated by fear, whether it is fear of the next panic attack, rejection, failure, going crazy, or death, you will be more likely to experience more panic attacks than when you are motivated by a sense of purpose. Not only will purpose place your focus on something positive, but there is something about purposeful action that naturally dissolves fear. Like a firefighter entering a burning building to save a child or an Olympic athlete focused on winning a medal, fear goes away when your mind and body are absorbed in meaningful action. Put simply, a lifestyle of action is incompatible with a lifestyle of fear.A lifestyle of meaningful action begins with discovering a deep sense of purpose in life to motivate you.

When you find it you will discover, as I did, that your purpose in life will be greater than your fears. It will be greater than the fear of having a panic attack, greater than the fear of failing or being rejected, greater than the fear that you are going crazy, and greater even than the fear of death.

Click here for his website

Facebook

Hi everyone. I decided to create a Facebook page just for us!

Some of you may already use different websites to look for advice or just to talk. And so i thought we could have our own little meeting place. I know there are a few pages for agoraphobia on Facebook already, but some people dont like to have the 'agoraphobia' groups associated with their page. Then people will know we are mad right?? (just kidding).

But personally ive been invited to a few pages, and since i live in a small town where no one knows my issues, i prefer to keep it that way, and so due to 'panic attacks' or 'agoraphobia' being in the name of the group, ive rejected them. So here is a solution.

This page is in my name, and you are all welcome. Come just to be a member, to share stories, ask questions or whatever you desire.

Click HERE to join, or click the badge on the right.

Its a work in progress as i have done NOTHING on there so far, but hopefully it will get filled with useful links and info along the way.

Remember!!

Agoraphobia vs Habit

This has been playing on my mind today. I really should have worked this out a long time ago but its only recently that it's become more apparent.

So am i agoraphobic, or have i just got into the habit of living my life in a limited space?

Sure there were years when i couldn't leave the house. That was agoraphobia at its most extreme level. Not being comfortable anywhere but home, sometimes only in one room, and even when there being an anxiety filled mess. Living with parents, fear of being left alone, constant worrying, negative thinking, obsessing, panic attacks, no routine, day turned into night and lots of other stress related behaviours. Not a nice time at all.

And yet today, I'm not like that. Now i am OK. I have routine. I don't really experience anxiety at all. And if, out of the blue, i did, well I can cope with it relatively well. If someone was to watch me for 1 day i would appear completely 'normal'. I get up and prepare the breakfast, get myself and my son dressed. Decide who to visit, or if we will go for a walk. Clean the house and then head out. At some point ill go to the shops for whatever we need. And then after our day out is done we head home where i will cook the dinner, then bath, then put Nathan to bed. At points through the day they'd see me smile, looking confident or they would hear me laugh. No stress, No anxiety. No agoraphobia.

So where does the agoraphobia kick in? Well very rarely ill be driving the car and ill get stuck at a red light and my heart will have a little flutter. So i will take a few deep breaths and turn the music up. The light goes to green and I'm off, and forget all about it. Or similarly if I'm in a shop alone and stuck in a queue. But really that's about it.

But that's because i have gotten so used to my life as is it now and my routine. I don't need to face the agoraphobia because day to day, i can get to where i need to be comfortably. But the problem is, that should i need to go somewhere far, for example, if there was an emergency... well i would s**t myself. And now i am wondering if this is because of agoraphobia and thinking of past reactions. Or is it simply because I'm doing something I haven't done in a long time.

I think its a bit of both. It actually bugs me that my head no longer thinks like this.. 'Well i don't have plans for today, and Ive got some money in the bank, so how about i take Nathan swimming and then out for lunch'. 'Oh Nathans away out with his dad on Saturday so i could head into the city for some retail therapy'. I just DON'T think like that. I am much more likely to think 'well ill see who's free in my little area and then go home'. My routine and habits are so limited to the little bubble that my thoughts literally don't go beyond that. And yes, this is OK day to day, and i am utterly grateful i can even do that, because Ive experienced the other side of the coin. But I'm really wondering just how much of my fear actually exists anymore.

Yeh i can just imagine what your thinking. 'Well try it then, go head out and see where you go'. That's the point. I know i would still struggle, still be very uncomfortable when getting to a certain distance, or even panic completely, but how much of this is down to agoraphobia. or just the fact I'm doing something out of the ordinary, which in itself would get my head thinking... i shouldn't be doing this, this is not me, i should be panicking cause i would have in the past'. And it makes me think of the few times i DID need to push myself and travel beyond my comfort zone, and to be honest, when i did it i was fine. A few uncomfortable minutes here and there but nothing at all to bother about.

So for me i think its a bit of both. And the key to changing it, is doing what i always did with the agoraphobia anyway. keep going out, and keep practising. Make new habits for myself. I did this before and it bugs the hell out of me that i let that go. I used to think 'oh today ill go for lunch, or today i wanna try something a bit more adventurous'. But not now. Now my heads very much in day to day routine. One day is the same as the next and, i wonder how many of you can relate, but its HARD to change your habits when you have a child to look after. Its very difficult for me to focus 100% on pushing my boundaries when Nathan needs a nappy changing, lunch, a nap, entertained, dinner and so on and so on. Yes i know i can take him with me, and no doubt i will sometimes, but there are situations id be putting myself in where i wouldn't necessarily want him to be a witness. He doesn't need to see my panic. And of course for those of you well enough to have a job, then can you fit in your recovery around work? I know that when i worked, i dragged myself out of bed in the morning, got home afterwards and ate dinner, and then i pretty much collapsed on the couch. Maybe i just need a bit of an energy boost.

And then of course there is life. Normal everyday life can play havoc with recovery plans. I have family, they need me to do things. Baby sit, wait in for deliveries, sit and chat and discuss their problems. A house to run.. washings, dishes, cleaning. And ill be honest, I'm pretty exhausted!

So. Its time to start working on my habits. Because its pretty clear that my phobia has greatly reduced and if that's the case, then this is really the best time to get to work. In the meantime, sleep!

Trying my best

Its going to be a GREAT year

Oh dear dear my blogging etiquette has gone to pot!

I haven't even wished you guys a Happy New Year. Well, even though its 17 days late i am wishing it now. To each and every one of you. May it be a fantastic, inspiring, beautiful, love filled & exciting year.

Lets skip the depressive gloomy rubbish and think of the good things in life. If we get out of our houses and get out and embrace the world we can have a magic time. Beautiful colourful trees to be seen blowing in the breeze. The sounds of children laughing as they play. The sight to a cute little puppy out on its first walk. The 17 year old nervous girl out on her first driving lesson. A mummy and her little baby out learning to walk and the look on the child's face as it looks with amazement at his surroundings and all the new interesting things he is seeing (that's Nathan and i at the moment). If your lucky enough to live near water go out and listen to the waves, such a peaceful sound. The birds flying high singing beautifully. A young couple walking hand in hand or kissing in the street (gross lol) not caring who sees them because its the first time they have been in love and they are just buzzing.

Does it sound nice? Well i know that's the things i see when i leave my home. And instead of plodding along thinking of and noticing nothing at all, i try to see these things and appreciate them all. And they are right there within a 5 minute walk. So if i can see all these things just 5 minutes from my home then imagine just how much i can see if i go further.

This is my year to get out there and embrace the world we live in. We hear so much negativity all the time and we can forget just how beautiful our world really is. I think the more you start to look for the good out there, the more we see it. The less we notice the bad points. Believe me i live in such a crappy area (in fact it had just been given the title of the worst town in the UK) but even surrounded by all its flaws, i still see the good. And i am grateful for that. Do you do the same?

I guess its about being grateful for what we have isn't it. Imagine we lost our sight. The things that we took for granted before would seem so much more special than we ever realised. Why does it need to take losing something, before we can appreciate it?

I want to enjoy every minute. I want to live this year. Not just exist. I want to fill myself up with more happiness and more positivity than i have before. Not a bad resolution is it?

I'm going to love myself. And enjoy my little quirks. I'm not going to beat myself up and feel so much guilt for not being perfect. Who is?

I still get loads of emails from people and a lot of people will ask me the question 'Do you do this too?' When they describe some behaviour they might have, it bothers them, worries them, or makes them feel ashamed'. Well i can say yes. Any weird thought you have had, Ive probably had it too. Even that thought you think it completely mental, and if you told it to anyone they would be calling for the men in the white coats to take you away. Your not alone.

Examples

• The girl who struggles washing her hair because shes panics when she starts to shampoo it
• People who wont dye their hair as it makes them anxious
• People who wont get a tattoo because they wont be able to rub it off once its done
• Imagining bad scenarios. Car crashes, being attacked
• Feeling nervous when someone moves furniture
• The fear that this is all a dream
• Small irrational things sending you into panic. Things that shouldnt matter (Marie breaking your bin and panicking cause it was broken and could not be fixed).

Ok not the finest examples (certainly not extreme ones) but all things i have heard of, and what im trying to show is that we all have these thoughts. But we are special, because we TALK about it. I imagine everyone in life has these kind of thoughts playing out in their head, but we are more sensative souls so we are more aware of them. Sometimes it can be hard not to be bothered by them. And we wish they would all go away and we could just be NORMAL!! But i embrace my mental quirky side. It just makes me more interesting lol. It just makes me more convinced that 'agoraphobic' isnt the best label. I think we are all just sensative and anxious. And it affects us all in different ways. Unfortunately it leaves some of us scared to travel, or leave home, or walk through wide open spaces. But in the first 3 examples its all about fear of losing control, so theres more going on with us than just whats outsides of our homes. We all have other issues. And sooooo.... as well as embracing life, pushing the boundaries etc this year, i will be facing the control issue.

A small example... i like to have a little suntan going on. But its winter and its Scotland so that aint happening. So yesterday i reached for the bottle of fake tan and i felt a little wobble. I felt i didnt want to put it on because if i didnt like it, im stuck with it and i cant scrub it off. And so i might panic. So the control issue. I dunno why i felt that way. But i could have just avoided doing it, but for god sake why should i? Ive avoided enough and so i slapped it on not caring if i ended up like an oompa loompa. If i panicked then id work through it but lets face it, would i panic... probably not! (im aware that this is another very weak example but im trying to focus on the little issues we can face that wouldnt automatically be associated with agoraphobia). All this avoidance left me a nervous little wreck in the past and so although this might be minor, its all these little battles that make us a little bit stronger each time confronted.

And so a late happy new year and all the best. Lots of love and positive energy to all of you. Why dont we make a plan for the year ahead? Hmmm I could possibly write some ideas in my next post. And I really need to sort out links for available downloads soon. Oh and also this year no more procrastinating haha.