Monday, 28 January 2008

The First Panic

Ok, so like i said, i was 19 years old. I was in a long term relationship and had just bought my first home. I had fantastic friends and a very busy social life, life was good. On the other hand it was approaching Christmas and i had just lost my job so that wasn't ideal but i didnt let things like that bother me.... or so i thought.

I remember complaining of dizziness for a few days so i had been taking it easy at my parents house. I wasn't particularly worried, i was a teenager. It was the perfect excuse to be lazy and lie watching tv all day. It was a Thursday evening at around 5pm, wow i remember it so clearly!
My dad and my boyfriend had just come home from work and we were all gathered in the living room for dinner. Suddenly i felt very strange.

I was looking around the room and i felt very detatched from everything. My vision had gone slightly hazy. My dad must have noticed i'd gone quiet because he asked if i was ok to which i answered 'yes'. But i soon said 'no i'm not'. The panic set in! What was happening to me. I was dizzy, my heart was pounding, the room was spinning. My head was tight but most prominant was that i felt utterly terrified!! My mum started running around trying to help me. She grabbed the phone and called the doctor. I crawled to the front door to try and get some air. Maybe i needed to cool down? My dad has suffered Asthma all of his life so he was worried i was taking an asthma attack but my breathing seemed ok. The doctor came on the phone and i was like a women possessed. I was screaming that i needed help. That i didn't know what was happening to me but that he better come see me quick! I remember him arriving straight away. He got me onto the couch and explained that i had taken a panic attack. He told me it would pass or he could give me and injection which would cause me to pass out. Funnily enough I prefered the option of just letting it pass. I actually calmed down really quickly with the doctor there. My whole body was shaking and my legs were actually jumping as if in a spasm. I didn't care, i was just glad it was over!

That night i was actually laughing about it. Saying how strange it was and how weird it had been to call the doctor out like i did as that was something i had never done before. I felt totally fine by then. I figured it was a one off. Scary but a one off, that was untill the next morning ...