New Template

When women go through relationship problems it is common for them to change their hairstyle or to go on a diet. I have decided to change my template. Radical huh lol.

This is just a quick update really. After saying I wouldn't let the last few day's bring me down, I have to admit that they did have a negative effect on me. I have been feeling.... 'fragile', 'vulnerable'? Just a bit low really. I also felt anxiety but stayed focused and knew it would pass. Thankfully after a day of wallowing I feel my old confidence returning. I have forced myself to keep up with my routine, although in all honesty, I just felt I had no energy. Today I had a relaxing bath and then went a walk. Getting some fresh air really does help, and since then I've felt much better.

The dentist rang this morning saying there was a problem with my appointment and it had to be rescheduled for next Wednesday. This was a blessing as I was still feeling wobbly. The appointment was for 9.45 but I'm no use in the mornings. I need a good hour for my body to begin functioning so the appointment next week is a 12 which is a far more suitable time for me.

Thank you everyone once again for your kind comments and words of advice. The crisis is now over and I am back on form. I guess the fact I got through this in 1 day is fantastic. In the past i could have ended up wallowing in bed for 2 weeks! This time I couldn't risk that happening and needed to get back out there again.

I actually dread telling you this people and do feel ashamed, but after a long think, the ring is back on my finger. Gerry and I met today and talked thing's through. I am still not happy about what happened and there will defo not be a wedding date getting booked any time soon, but I am willing to give it one last try. G knows it is now make or break. If that same argument arises again it will be time to call it a day. We have planned several drives over the next week and Gerry has said that wherever I want to go is fine with him, he will keep his mouth firmly shut! I do feel a lot less pressure now and the argument had one benefit in that it made us really talk about my agoraphobia. I don't think i took the time to REALLY explain how it affects me every day of my life.

I know many of you will think I am making a mistake. Maybe i have even thought that myself. All i know is that i feel it is worth one more try. Our talk seems to have make him understand things much better and I think if i was to call it all off now, i could regret it in the future. At the end of the day I love him, he is good to me (most of the time) and we were happy before all of this. All relationships have their ups and downs and, at times, need to be worked on so we will see how things go from here.