Tuesday, 17 March 2009

My New Car and other News


Feels like I haven't written in ages! Ive actually not been online very much which is why there has been a lack of blogging and 'twittering'.
Above is my new car and may i add, my first car. A friend of mine offered me it for free and I happily accepted. Its an older car as you can probably see but its shiny and convertible and mine mine mine! I do love it but there is a small set back... I don't actually have a driving licence. Perhaps i was a little hasty in taking up his offer but there was method to my madness. I have has quite a lot of driving lessons but unfortunately i was taking them around the time that I first started to suffer with panic attacks. Just as the time was approaching for me to sit my test I gave up the lessons all together. I often wonder if my life would have turned out differently if i had been able to drive, but my guess is that i would still have ended up agoraphobic anyway.
So with the new car i plan on getting back on the road. I will go out with my mum and get my confidence back up and hopefully ....eventually, be able to put in for my test. In the meantime i took the car for my mums benefit also. She past her test years ago and it gave her a fantastic life and she was often popping out here, there and everywhere. Then she got a new car which was an automatic. Unfortunately, after driving an automatic car for years she lost the confidence to drive a manual car. Now i think she has built it up so much in her own head that she gets very nervous at the thought of it. Now with the new car i am hoping she will get back out there and practice. I'm sure she will be out and about in no time.
I have been to the pub for the last 3 weekends in a row. I don't have much else to add about this. I suppose i should be proud and look at the comparison to my life a year ago... or even just at New Year. When I went to the pub at New Year i was quite uptight, but now when i go I am pretty calm. So this is good!
My walking is still going fantastically. I have walked to the shops regularly since i last post and I still cant believe some of the places I'm finding myself. Last week i got a bit of a scare though. While walking home from the shops i suddenly started to panic. It came out of the blue and caught me totally off guard. I was on the phone to my friend and suddenly felt really dizzy. I told myself to focus on her voice and just ignore these feelings but they got worse and i found myself thinking 'i am really far from home, it's going to take me at least 15 minutes to get back and i really don't like this'. I tried again to focus on my friends voice but as the anxiety hit me again I started to run. As I got closer to home it passed and instead of going home i took another route and continued my walk. It did scare me though. I have been back to the shops and have walked that way since. I wanted to be sure i didn't start avoiding it cause that is how the problems start isn't it. Anyway I have went walking everyday as per usual and tell myself that I will not let that hinder me. It is not always easy though.
I've been on more drive's, one with Gerry which resulted in ANOTHER fight ha, sometimes I feel like i am ready to take big leaps and other times I am not so confident but all i know is that i just have to keep on trying. Dentist tomorrow, Hairdresser Thursday, Kids at the weekend. Trying to keep busy but lately I feel completely exhausted. I am sleeping a lot but i could sleep so much more. Maybe I need vitamins??? Oh well I will go for now and Ill be back all upbeat and positive but right now i just need sleep. Hope you are all well x

7 comments:

Mr. Blue said...

Glad to know you're doing well. Keep it up!

Nechtan said...

Nice freebie! Much better than my first car. Some day you'll be running around in it with these days firmly in the past and not a care in the world.

All the best

Nechtan

Rachael said...

Nice car, im sure you'll be whizzing around in it in no time :)
I never thought i'd be able to drive a car but ive become so much more confident in the past few months. Good Luck with it.
Good to see things are going well, hope it continuesxx

Jason said...

Nice!

Erwin Calverley said...

Hi Lynn! How's your car today? I've been looking for a car that looks a lot like that. A not-so-big convertible car. I think it's perfect for driving around the neighborhood.

Erwin Calverley

Maria Wegner said...

@Erwin: Cars like this are indeed a great car for driving around the city. What I like about it is that when you want to do some sightseeing, driving around in a convertible is just fantastic. The best part is you could really feel the cool breeze as you drive; likewise you can easily raise the top whenever you want!

Ashely Redden said...

You had this car for free? Wow! I would like to meet your friend. Kidding! ;) You look great in that car. But it's been five years, so I can't help but think that it has gone through some problems within that time. As long as you keep it well-maintained, you can even have it for ten, fifteen, or twenty more years! :)