As i have said before, many agoraphobic's I know are able to travel in the car, but have issues when it come's to walking. On previous posts i have talked about how i am making myself walk everyday and have been going further each time. My confidence has been growing, i have been ENJOYING my walks and the most important thing i noticed is that i just zone out and let my thoughts wander. In the past i would have been fixating on what i was doing 'this is far, how long till i get home', 'What if i panic or fall and and can't get home' and so on and so on.
Feeling my new confidence i attempted to travel in the car again is this is something i never do. Obviously i have already written about the disaster which was my first trip with my boyfriend but today we attempted it for a second time.
I wasn't thrilled with the idea but decided to go and i am really glad i did. Today in the car i travelled further than i have in years. It is actually shocking to say that since it is such a short distance but it was progress all the same. Last year i posted a picture of My little bubble (http://livingwithagoraphobia.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-little-bubble.html). Today i have posted a picture which shows the same bubble in Yellow, and where i travelled to today, in Red.
At first i was nervous, the negative thoughts came and my hands began to sweat. I focused on my boyfriend and our conversation and also told myself that I was going to be ok. If i really panicked i could close my eyes and be home really quickly. I didnt need to though. I was calm! We tried a few short drives around the block and then eventually i was telling him to go further and further. The best part for me was driving to my friends house. My friend Laura moved into her house about a year ago and i have never seen the house or been close! But today i called her and told her to look out her window and when she did i was sitting there waving. I ended the journey smiling and walked home chatty and upbeat. I look forward to our next outing. This is the first time i have truley felt that i CAN beat this. Its is actually possible
7 comments:
It really sounds like things for you are improving! :) How are the homeopathic pills working for you? Do you think they are helping at all? I'm really afraid of taking meds so I have been thinking about trying a herbal/more natural route and I was curious how they've been working.
I really have felt a difference. Its happened slowly but i have realised that i am a lot more relaxed about things now. Like spending the night alone, or going out in the car. I have been more willing to get out there. Also i have noticed i have the lust for life back. I would recommend giving them a go. I am terrible when it comes to taking medication but these dont have side affects so i would say you should give it a try
I will definitely have to look into that, I'm really worried about side affects so maybe this will be a good thing to try. Thanks!
I thought it was interesting how the greater part of your new route (red) has wide open space on at least one side of it. To me, it was another piece of evidence disproving the view (misconception) that agoraphobia represents a "fear of open spaces".
Awesome Lynn. Keep it up and sooner or later riding around in the car will be just like walking. You'll just be riding around thinking about nice things without a worry in your head. I know how hard that is to believe, cause I'm the exact opposite. I can do ok in the car now, but walking is just pure anxiety.
And diver; I can honestly say I don't really fear open spaces. It's more about the distance from home than anything else. In fact the one thing that is sure to bring on a panic attack for me is feeling trapped.
Thanks Jason. I did eventually feel relaxed in the car and i can see that in time i will be completely comfortable. I just have to work on doing it more and more like i did with the walking. Diver you are very correct. There are a lot of open spaces and this is something i have never had a problem with. I could walk across fields or huge car parks etc. My problem has always been the distance i can travel from my 'safe place' but as we know, i am working on that :)
I am so happy for you, and your friend Laura. Yes, you can beat this. Kudos!
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