As i have said before, many agoraphobic's I know are able to travel in the car, but have issues when it come's to walking. On previous posts i have talked about how i am making myself walk everyday and have been going further each time. My confidence has been growing, i have been ENJOYING my walks and the most important thing i noticed is that i just zone out and let my thoughts wander. In the past i would have been fixating on what i was doing 'this is far, how long till i get home', 'What if i panic or fall and and can't get home' and so on and so on.
Feeling my new confidence i attempted to travel in the car again is this is something i never do. Obviously i have already written about the disaster which was my first trip with my boyfriend but today we attempted it for a second time.
I wasn't thrilled with the idea but decided to go and i am really glad i did. Today in the car i travelled further than i have in years. It is actually shocking to say that since it is such a short distance but it was progress all the same. Last year i posted a picture of My little bubble (http://livingwithagoraphobia.blogspot.com/2008/01/my-little-bubble.html). Today i have posted a picture which shows the same bubble in Yellow, and where i travelled to today, in Red.
At first i was nervous, the negative thoughts came and my hands began to sweat. I focused on my boyfriend and our conversation and also told myself that I was going to be ok. If i really panicked i could close my eyes and be home really quickly. I didnt need to though. I was calm! We tried a few short drives around the block and then eventually i was telling him to go further and further. The best part for me was driving to my friends house. My friend Laura moved into her house about a year ago and i have never seen the house or been close! But today i called her and told her to look out her window and when she did i was sitting there waving. I ended the journey smiling and walked home chatty and upbeat. I look forward to our next outing. This is the first time i have truley felt that i CAN beat this. Its is actually possible