Saturday, 18 July 2009

Another stressful week

This week has actually been ok i suppose. It was the tail end of the week that was a little more challenging. Since starting to drive I have come to rely on my car very much. This doesn't actually bother me as long as i am getting out and about. But it was time to put my car into the garage to get some serious work done. I had originally been given a quote for the work, and although it was a bit steep, i figured it was worth it as long as it keeps me on the road. So yesterday the car was out into the garage which left me without wheels for the first time in ages. Hmmmm. I didn't like it very much, but only because it was a change and we all know that change isn't welcome ha.

I did well during the day actually. I went out walking and went to the shops and things as usual, just as i did before I had my car. I knew i would only be without it for a couple of days and it would all be worth it when my car came back all mended. Oh well i spoke to soon. I awoke this morning to the mechanic calling me to tell me that the car will cost much more than i expected to repair. Well its silly money really and i would be cheaper buying a brand new car. But I don't have much money so what do I do??? Life without a car just doesn't seem to appeal to me. As much as i was out yesterday, i certainly didn't venture out as far as I would in my car. So i got a little worried at first but then took action. I collected my car before the guy done any work and went about car shopping. I looked at a few models and finally found one I am really happy with. Ok it's nothing flash but its nice and comfortable to drive, much more reliable and much newer than my car. In the end the new car will cost me the price i would have been paying for repairs...and its new and shiny and all mine! As pictured above.

Also this week i took on another challenge. A visit to the cinema. Well the cinema near me is massive. I think it has 20 screens or something so you can imagine this isn't a small intimate building. This place is like a supermarket inside. I wasn't actually worried about the building, just how i was going to manage to sit at piece for the 2 hour show. Waiting to leave for the cinema i was getting anxious. I told myself that it would be far easier to just cancel. Why do i need to go?? Ill just call it off. And then i remembered that that kind of behaviour is exactly how i ended up agoraphobic. Why deprive myself of a nice day out, and possibly seeing a good movie, just because of nerves?

Yes i was nervous on the journey there, and also inside i was a little on edge. During the movie i was thinking all sorts of things. but mostly it was this.... it is so dark in here. When i walk outside and its suddenly very bright is the rapid change going to freak me out. will the light be too much stimulation and will i panic?? Bit if a bizarre one isn't it, but hopefully you'll understand none the less. Eventually I decided that I would take a walk to the toilet and see how i reacted with that. As obviously leaving the dark cinema into the slightly lighter hallway would give me an idea to how i would react. Panic over.. i felt ok. I chilled out throughout the film. Which was 'bruno' and was pretty good. And afterwards I enjoyed a McDonalds with friends. Not a bad day out and totally worth the initial apprehension.

Next time i may have news of.... a job!!!!


Marius said...


I developed agoraphobia suddenly as a young man of 22 years of age. The illness crippled me for two years. After much unsuccessful treatment I discovered a self-help-therapy taught by Dr Claire Weekes, a physician with a special interest in the anxiety state who spent many years involved in the treatment of agoraphobia in the United Kingdom, the United States and Australia. Her cure is based on two essentials for recovery; firstly a proper explanation of what is wrong with you and secondly, exactly what you should do to get well again. Everything is explained in her book entitled “Peace from Nervous Suffering” which is available from

I used Dr Weekes’s method and am today, more than 30 years later, still completely cured of agoraphobia. Not only was I able to quickly rid myself of the numerous and seemingly illogical fears that plagued me and trapped me in my home, but I was soon able to travel hundreds and thousands of miles away and then to finally immigrate to another country on the other side of our planet.

My story and experiences were published a number of years ago in a self help book which can now be downloaded for free from the internet at

Teak heart, agoraphobia is 100% curable.


David said...

You did really well there with the film. Idiots on my blog who haven't a clue assume as soon as I do one thing they can do I'm cured. How ignorant they are. We can do isolated things but can take me a day or two to recover from something like that as it takes so much effort to overcome the need to run. Let them have it for a while so they understand.

diver said...

I think cinemas are OK. Once I get through the queues and crowds I find it pretty easy to relax there in the dark. 'Escape' is not an issue really, especially if one is sitting in say the back row, aisle, nearish an exit.

A few good movies and I bet you'll find you're as comfortable in there as you now are with driving.

A j-j-j-job ... !

Huh, word verification was "reborno" ... how appropriate for your blog :)

Sheridene said...

hey there im not sure how this whole site works but i suffer from agoraphobia and i really need help please could you email me or add me to msn...seems like everybody here knows whats going on with this phobia and panic attacks coz my family don't get it!!!!! is my email and msn ID tnx :)

Anoop. said...

Hi lynn,
your blog came on d top of d list while i was searching for cures!!! This is My 10`th year of coping with it and its really hard ...Read about ur idea to have a job in the last post ,i appreciate tht coz i quit mine recently and found the situation gettin worse.Bottom line being engaged in something keep it down id like to add u on my MSN and lookin forward to have a chat..
mi id is
take care

The Tired Psychonaut said...

Oh my God I know exactly what you're going through. Little things like the changes from light to dark freak me out, and I too have to just face up to nerves and tell them to leave me alone or else I know I'm just going to end up sitting in my room forever. It's irritating to say the least, but if you let it in then it will inevitably take over your life. I have to get on a bus today which in itself is a big deal, but it's a 40 minute journey. I'm just telling myself that if I don't go now, I never ever will and that's the last thing I want to happen. I'm not going to let nerves ruin this for me!

Hang in there, trust me I really do know exactly what this is like and I feel your anxiety too.