Summer is here!

It has been a hot week! I have loved every minute of the good weather spending all of my time in the garden. Along with being outside all day i decided i should push myself further again. I have gone a walk everyday. The book i recommended has really helped to change my thinking on these walks.

Yesterday i made it back to the shops again, i had made this trip before but yesterday i was suprised how calm i was. So today i went back and i'm feeling great. I do have a new confidence and i am hopeful this will stay. I have also went walking with friends and am planning a long walk this weekend with Chris. I am just slowly trying to build on my progress i guess.

On top of this i have managed to sort out my routine. I had completely turned night into day but suddenly im back to normal. I am struggling to keep awake after midnight and im waking every morning before 9. This means i can make more of an effort to actually DO things with my day. Long may it last.

I want to thank everyone who either commented or emailed regarding my 'hate mail' haha. I appreciated what you all had to say and it was nice to hear from people i didnt even know read my blog! It always amazes me the amount of people who seem to get help from reading this. I always knew that i would get some form of abuse about the blog. Like Chris said to me, If you put yourself out there you've got to expect it. Unfortunalty as much as the internet is a great place for people like us, i guess it can only be accepted that there will be 1 or 2 bad eggs.

I would like to clear one more thing up. This person seems convinced that the therapist i am seeing now is the same one i seen in the past. I would like to say again that this is not true. They say i 'slagged' this person off and yes i guess this part is true. The man i mentioned charged me a lot of money, seen me a few times then vanished. I also spoke to several people who had also used him and had the same experience. It was sad really, upsetting and more than anything it made me really angry. I don't want people being conned like i was. Especially when it costs such a huge amount. This man tells people they can be cured in ONE session. It was brought to a head when a friend i met because of this blog told me she too had seen him. So yes i complained. And i had EVERY reason to. It is soul destroying to meet someone who will promise you the world and then gives you nothing. When i wasnt 'cured' i felt like i was weird. How come it wasnt working for me? Am i beyond help. And speaking to the other people who had the same experience i realised that they too had been extremely depressed after their session didn't work.

Yes the therapist i am seeing now is one from the past. He is one who helped me but due to circumstances at the time our appointments stopped. I have seen MANY therapists in my 7 years with agoraphobia, anxiety and panic attacks. I have seen people who do EFT, TFT, NLP, CBT, Hypnosis, Meditation, Life coaching etc etc. I dont know any therapist who offers every one of these services in a package. You get to learn who you can trust and who you cannot but the most important thing is to find a therapist that you have faith in. I guess i can handle emails about anything, my looks, my personality, my opinions.. people can slag off any of these things but i dont like to be called a liar.

Thankfully though the emails don't dampen my mood. Things are going fantastically well. I am feeling happier than before and this makes me more confident. More up for a challange. So i really think after such a busy week i can only to progess as we go into the summer months. I know from personal experience that with the good times, the bad can follow. We can make huge leaps then suddenly be scared to cross the door again. I am not niave and i know this could happen again but i always remain positive and that those bad times always pass and we always come out the other end. I also feel that when those times come, If they do.. that i will be able to cope with them better with my new way of thinking. Fingers Crossed. Once again, i hope everyone is well and thanks for your emails and comments. x