Latest News & Free Linden Method

I wish i could come on here sounding happy and positive all the time but i guess that isn't reality is it.

I haven't been out. I have been spending A LOT of time in my room, on my own. When i wake in the morning i go grab some cereal and coffee and return straight to my room. It's where i am most comfortable, and it's where i am surrounded by the things i need, i.e my laptop and mobile phone. I can sit there all day, untill i go get dinner and then its back to my bedroom on my own unless i'm seeing my boyfriend.

This has been happening for a while and it started to get to me. I realised i NEEDED to get back out. I began to obsess thinkin... Oh no thats me back to being housebound, Is this me getting worse, am i never going to feel strong enough to tackle this.

So i made myself sit in the garden the next day. I wasnt there for long really but i think i just needed to prove to myself that i am not scared of being there. The next day my friend came round and when she left i decided to walk her home a little. I didnt get far, only about 5 minutes away when it started to pour with rain, and since i had no jacket i just headed for home.

I felt proud in having done it. But the negative thoughts are still there. I feel a knot in my stomach telling me i am not doing enough. On the other hand i tell myself that it wont ever get too bad because i clearly get to a stage where i MAKE myself get up and do something...anything. So i am having this little battle of postives and negatives a lot at the moment.

Obviously my problems are due to agoraphobia but i also think i am basically just stuck in rut! I have NO routine. I dont do anything outside my home. So its difficult to force myself to go out and do something different. My life is an indoor one. And i am perfectly happy that way. BUT i realise this life isnt for me. I want to be out socialising, shopping etc so this needs tackled. I have called my doctor to be re-referred to the commuinity psychiatric nurse for CBT and Graded Exposure. I think the graded exposure is basically what i need most.

Also i have a friend who is a nurse and she is now being trained in EMDR. This is the therapy i have been most interested in trying out. The women herself told me she watched a man performing EMDR for a few days in his surgery and she was blown away by the results. Now that she herself is training i am going to be her first patient. It could work or it could fail but what harm is there in trying? Her training will be rather long so it could be the end of the year before she is qualified to work with me. The women whose name is Alison is a nurse at present and she is interested in learning all sorts of therapies and she seems to have a genuine interest in how i am doing. She called the other night i and i explained i have been shutting myself away again and she has offered to come and go out walking with me. This is a great help. I am helping Alison gain experience in working with people with phobias and i feel better doing that than asking my friends or my mum all the time.

An online friend told me about a website she had found called www.thinkrightnow.com. The website offers a recording that can be sent to you at a small fee. Like most of these sites there are statements on there from previous users who claim the cds have helped them to deal with their anxiety. My friend bought the CDs and sent them straight on to me. I would like to offer anyone who is interested in recieving the CD to get in touch. I am more than happy to forward this on to you. It is in 4 parts. 2 parts are relaxation and the other 2 parts are basically positive affirmations being repeated over and over again. Obviously the more you listen to the CD the better chance there is of it working. Like with any of these things i always say... it's worth a try!

I have said before that i am a fan of Dr Weekes, her books and her recordings. I have a 4 part recording with Dr Weekes talking about Anxiety and Agoraphobia and how she thinks it should be dealt with. I felt full of hope and excitment the first time i listened as Dr Weekes explains that no matter how severe your anxiety, or how long you have had your problems, you CAN beat it.

I have often heard of the Linden Method as a way to cure panic attacks and anxiety. U have even spoken to someone who claimed it worked on them. The Linden Method if avaiable online but is expensive to buy. Once again i have these recordings on my computer, including the manual and all that comes with it.

Finally i have a book called 'Panic Away'. Like all i have mentioned before this book is avaiable online at a price.

I am listing these recordings here as each of them have success stories behind them and it may be the one that works for you. I can't comment on them all as yet as i am still working with the 'Think Right Now' recordings. But i am more than happy to forward any of these recordings on to anyone who wishes to give them a try.

Homelife.... well it's ok. My mum is getting concerned about my hermit behaviour, which makes me feel guilty. I had the kids most of last week so that kept me busy. Luke is continuing to recover from his operation and its 99% better. Chris and i are great, he makes me happy and i love when he is here... i do still worry that he is gonna get bored of me soon though. All i can do is continue to make an effort so he can see i am at least trying! He is taking a week off from work in May and plans to devote that week to helping me. He wants us to go out in the car and try to drive past my safety limit. He realises it will be tough and we will be going back and forward most of the time but its great that hes willing to try.

Anyway i feel like i am rambling now. I hope that everyone is in good spirits. Sorry i am not inspiring people with news of an amazing recovery but i wrote this blog to tell the truth and i don't think it would be realistic to be cured over night. Once again feel free to email me if you want any of the recordings or for any other reason at all.

Cognative Behavioural Therapy For Dummies

I thought i would let you know that i have just bought this book on Cognative Behavioural Therapy. The customer reviews are all very impressive with each reader giving the book 5 stars. Here is an example :-

I had used the 'Dummies' series of books before and enjoyed reading them. The style of writing is extremely easy to read, you can simply pop in and out of the book to re-read certain sections as it is all categorised, and the two writers use humour which helps a great deal when dealing with this subject. I recently had a slight re-lapse when on holiday and had a panic attack. However due to the way the book is written I easily found a part I needed to re-read and was feeling 100% again within minutes If you are suffering from negative thoughts, depression, panic attacks, phobias etc. then this book is for you and WILL help. After reading only a small section I was feeling much better and thinking "hmmm, now I understand!"

I have also bought another booked called The Cognative Behavioural Therapy Workbook
This is described on Amazon as follows :-

CBT is a proven and effective approach to mastering your thoughts, and here the authors of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies show you step-by-step how to put the lessons of their book into practice.Inside you'll find a huge number of hands-on exercises and techniques to help you remove roadblocks to change - whether you're seeking to overcome anxiety and depression, boost self-esteem, lose weight, beat addiction or simply improve your outlook in your professional and personal life - and regain control over your life.Rhena Branch and Rob Willson are CBT therapists at the Priory Clinic in London, and the authors of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy For Dummies.

These books may or may not work but i will give them a read and then i'll report back with my verdict. I bought them as i thought they would give me a good idea of what to plan on my weekly schedule, what tasks to attack etc. I will let you know how i get on.

Getting Help

For me the main person who helped me at the start was my GP. I would make regular appointments and when the doctor told me i wasn't insane, that would be enough to keep me happy and calm for a while. However one of the first things my doctor done for me was refer me to speak to a counsellor. To be honest i don't have much to say about this. It's not that the counselling didnt help me or that i found it to be a useless experience, it's just that i didn't have many appointments. I think i maybe spoke to a counsellor about 4 times in all. I did find it helpful to talk about what i was dealing with. It wasn't something i discussed with friends and i still don't really. I feel they don't need to be dragged down by negativity, i'd much rather we have a good gossip and have fun when we are together. So it was a nice releif to be able to get everything off my chest. Also once again i found it a comfort when the counsellor would tell me my worries and thoughts were common in people with anxiety.

My next referal was to the Community Psychiatric Nurse. I would say that this was more helpful to me. I would meet with the nurse Donna once a week and we were going to be working on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). The sessions took place in my home so i would be nice and relaxed and didn't have to go through the ordeal of travelling to and from appointments. We started with the basics, what i had been going through, my symptoms, how i coped with panic attacks etc. Donna provided me with a lot of reading material about anxiety and as per usual i found this helpful as i was realising i was not alone in this. She also taught me breathing excersises and how to relax, telling me that these would be the best methods in dealing with panic. Donna explained to me that i was thinking negatively and that by having these negative thoughts i was creating a vicious circle of anxiety. I began to understand my condition and realised she was so right! I did have a lot of negative thoughts and Donna tried to teach me how to over rule them. Ignore them. Why should i let these things control my life?

I was finding the CBT sessions very helpful. I was gaining a new confidence that i didn't have before. I could see that i could beat this. I had the strength to control my anxiety instead of it controlling me. That's when Donna told me she was leaving her job. She was moving to a job elsewhere. It wasn't the best news really. I felt i was making progress but with Donna leaving what would i do next? She told me that i would be assigned a new nurse. But after those weeks with Donna i never did see another nurse on a regular basis. A lack of staff or Staff sickness were the excuses i was given. I felt very let down, i was on my own again.